They are everywhere!

I like to think of myself as one of the moms picking up my son at preschool. Dressed in my Lululemon work out gear, I rush in a few minutes before 12, make small talk, sip tea and wait for the door to open. And my son, just like the other children, comes bounding out with a huge smile, screaming Mommy! But today, I realized, I and my son are different.

I arrived a few minutes late and immediately was assaulted by three 8 month pregnant bellies. I overheard one woman, resting back on the couch, feet on the coffee table, moaning about not being able to sleep. The woman next to her, rocking her newborn in a carseat, nodded in commiseration. Another one brought her four-year old son along and the two discussed his own morning at school. I saw the nanny of my son’s favorite friend in class, and she too, wore a Bjorn with her employees baby daughter encased. I was alone. A mother of one. How easy she has it, they must think to themselves.

Times like this, I wish it was just a choice to have one. We could get on with our lives, fully content with the decision that we made. But as my therapist said, even if we find our way to that place, it will always be our second choice. How sad is that? And then I remember that my own dear husband was not my first choice nor I, his. We both married before and thankfully fate brought us together, giving us our second and in his case, third choice. So if we come to that, I am confident, we will look at it as we do each other, as the only way things could have been.