The two week wait - again

Again, I find myself in the two week wait. Two weeks ago, I exuded optimism, not that the IUI would work, but that one day I would get pregnant. I felt that tiny soul that was my angel – baby Chase – and knew he would find his way back to me in a healthy body.  It would not take more fertility drugs, another RE consult or another Mayan massage, I was confident that my body could do it.

In the devastation that was my last period, I put a question out on all of my networks - Golden Gate Mothers Group, Berkeley Parents Network and Lamorinda Moms Club – asking what the secret was of women who had babies after 40. I really wanted to know what was bullshit and what worked. Is IVF the only answer? And of course not a surprise but the answers were all over the board from donor egg to sitting still and taking all the supplements to saying fuck it all, running, drinking and enjoying coffee and finding yourself pregnant. Most of all, it was inspiring. One woman just had her first at 44 thanks to a great acupuncturist. The doctors had told her it wasn’t possible for her.  So I called the acupuncturist – Maria Yung – who coincidentally was just about to go on maternity leave for her third child. Did I mention she is 45?

She made time for a consult before she left. And wow, what a difference. I have been to six acupuncturists (in the Bay Area) – all very good – and no one has spent that much time going over my medical history and actually feeling my body, noting where I was tight. She is the first person to even say that at 40, my window is still very open to conceive. And like I believe, the drugs don’t seem to work for me so no more IVF. Her goal is to loosen up my tight muscles, get me to relax and ease my digestion. I am not to eat anything cold (no more coconut milk ice cream, raw vegetables and salad) and while she doesn’t think I have a gluten issue, its better to continue to still avoid it and dairy. And a drink here or there is just fine. And by the way, she wants me to track my basal body temperature.

So with all that optimism, I did my one and only medicated IUI. Coming off of IVF, it as a cake walk. Two ultrasounds then a trigger. Only four bigger follicles so not much bloating. A quick insemination with no down time. Pretty easy. DH’s efforts to improve his viscosity – no coffee, less alcohol – seem to have worked. His specimen was deemed “excellent” and my mucous “substantial”.

I am now at day 24. My boobs have been hurting for a few days. A sign of impending pregnancy or PMS. My BBT dipped 8 days past ovulation – another sign of potential implantation or just how my body works. No spotting yet but I am also on progesterone. As for my emotional state, I am a wreck. I am tired, like I am every month and I am not sure how to not be in this place month after month. It’s not healthy for me, DH or DS.